Holiday dinner getting tense? Tap the topic.
Pick what usually sets things off. You get three calm lines that change the subject without starting round two, a boundary line if it keeps going, and a code word to share with your partner so either of you can call a time-out.
Tap a topic above.
Why redirecting works
Most holiday arguments are not won; they are just survived. Naming that you hear the other person, then steering toward something you both care about, lowers the temperature without pretending you agree. If it keeps coming back, one clear boundary sentence, said once and calmly, does more than another round of debate.
UnFight is a private iPhone app for the moment an argument heats up: pause, find clearer words and decide what to do next. Always free, unlimited.
Free on the App StoreQuestions
How do I change the subject without being rude?
Acknowledge first, then pivot: "I hear you feel strongly about that. Can I ask about your trip?" A question about the other person is the easiest bridge.
What if they keep bringing it up?
Use one boundary line, calmly and only once: "I am not going to talk about that today, but I am really glad to see you." Then step away for a few minutes if it continues.
What is the code word for?
Agreeing on a word with your partner or a sibling beforehand means either of you can call a short break without explaining in front of everyone.
Is there help for arguments at home too?
UnFight, our free iPhone app, helps couples in the moment: a quick pause, clearer words and a plan for what to do next.
- First fight after moving in together: a 7-day guideIs it normal to fight after moving in together? Usually, yes. A seven-day plan for the week after it, one tap per day, and the words for a pause.
- How to take a break in an argument without stonewallingHow to take a break during an argument without it reading as stonewalling: three taps to the right pause, a message you can edit, and the 20-minute rule.
- Lasting app alternativeLasting offers guided marriage-health sessions for couples. If you need help in the middle of an argument, privately on your phone, compare it with UnFight.