One holiday plan.
Two points of view.
Whose family? Which dates? Who is doing the cooking? Choose one question before the whole season becomes one giant conversation.
Build a discussion agendaExplore UnFight on the App StoreFree browser tool · no sign-up · no personal writing required
Give this conversation an outline.
Pick a topic and a possible aim. The result is a proposed agenda you can change together, not a script either person has to follow.
These choices stay in this page. Nothing is sent to your partner, saved as an agreement or scheduled.
Family visits / Explore possibilities
- Which visit are we discussing first?
- Ask each person: what matters to you about this, and what would you like the other person to understand?
- Which dates are genuinely available, and which invitations are still only possibilities?
- Could we shorten a visit, split the days, alternate this year, or decline one invitation?
- Keep the options as possibilities. Ask what each person wants to think about before revisiting them.
A proposal, not an agreement. Either person can pause or decline.
Separate the question from the whole history.
For this planning exercise, make the first question concrete enough to answer. You can return to a larger concern separately; it doesn't have to be squeezed into a travel booking decision.
Broad topic
"The holidays always turn into too much."
One planning question
"Which invitation do we want to discuss first, before we reply to anyone?"
Illustrative wording, not a real couple's testimonial. Use it only if it matches what you mean.
A possible plan is still a possibility.
A draft in one person's notes isn't a shared decision. Before treating an option as settled, check whether each person freely agrees. "Not yet" is an available answer.
This tool is for voluntary planning conversations. It isn't appropriate for pressuring someone to compromise a boundary, or for situations involving fear, coercion or abuse. An app does not replace appropriate support.
Want a place to keep working through it?
UnFight offers a private place to pause, find words and choose a next step on your iPhone.
- Say It Right: editable Brief, Gentle or Direct drafts for nine situations, including asking for help and raising a concern.
- RESET: a guided conversation at your own pace, with steps you can skip.
- Weekly check-in: one appreciation, one topic, one practical step and something to look forward to.
The app distinguishes private proposals from agreements both people have actually accepted. It never sends a message for you.
See UnFight for iPhoneKnow what you're choosing.
What can I use for free?
The listing includes Calm Down, the break timer, safety resources, Say It Right's Brief/Gentle/Direct styles, saved history and one guided session a week in the free version.
What does Premium add?
The listing describes unlimited guided RESET and Partner sessions, the Detailed writing style, unlimited agreements with check-in history, and summaries of recurring topics. Monthly, annual and lifetime options are listed. Check the purchase screen for local prices and any trial eligibility.
Will my partner see what I write?
This browser tool doesn't ask for personal writing and doesn't send anything. In the app, Partner Mode is optional: both people opt in and approve before their answers are shown. Your iPhone's own backups may include app data, according to the listing.
Is this therapy or an assessment?
No. This is a planning outline from UnFight's publisher. UnFight is a self-guided communication tool, not therapy or counseling, and it doesn't score your relationship. No result or relationship improvement is guaranteed.
You don't need the perfect sentence to begin.
Use the agenda as a starting point. If you'd like editable wording and private guided steps, explore the free parts of UnFight first.
Open UnFight in the App StoreiPhone · iOS 17 or later · Free with optional in-app purchases
Useful for someone else?
Share the public guide. Your entries and results are not included.
Open the public guide link